Yeah, so when I was in my early teens, acceptably going through the major pains of growing up and having those weird mood swings and pretty much hating every person in sight I developed this SPECIALITY which I now call "I block you". Yes, I literally call it that.

Basically what used to happen in this technique was that whenever someone (which means everyone) used to say something I did not want to listen to or react too, I used to IGNORE them. And I don't mean 'talk to the hand' or looking away or walking away. I mean staring at that person as if I am ALL ears on what they're saying my expression also so interested/ashamed whatever. The best part? Whatever you say used to just fly over my head. I never comprehended what you said because my mind used to be BLANK. Like SACHI mein blank. No kidding.

So this kind of became a problem for me. This technique which I kind of thought would save a lot of energy and maintain a healthy tolerance for me KIND of became a menace ( I am exaggerating I love what happens to me now). As I grew up (and still am) I realised that this blocking thing had kind of grown it's roots on me. I SO frequently started blocking out people with such ease that it started happening on it's own. Lost track? Let me explain: While I am having normal everyday conversations with everyone, even if i am NOT bored or have not lost interest, people automatically get blocked. And i realise after a span of 8-15 seconds what is happening & trust me that's a lot of time. And sometimes it takes me more time to realise that I am simply nodding at the person in front of me and not actually listening to them and when I FINALLY catch myself, I tune back.

So this is still head on strong with me now-a-days! And it happens with each and every person. It's not some bemaari. No, I do not have a problem it's just something self created. So, things were going smooth till I actually confessed with one of my very best friends: Sadia. She's helping me a lot with my studies before the mocks and I felt stupid asking her to repeat stuff she JUST said because (yes) I was lost. And she's not a freakin' teacher who has ratofied it all & could actually repeat accurately. So, yeah, I tell her! I'm glad she just laughs. But THEN, *cough* every time she sees me nodding with my eyes wide, or looking here and there making weird face expressions (my face does that thing ..ummm..)and she goes like "STOP blocking me Anushay, MERI BAAT SUNO!" And the worst part? She's accurate 70%! =D So, now it is this way that I have her interrupting every time during something so damn important to see if she still has my attention. And it's new to them (Sadia & Fatima) so she does it often.

I like how much she gives a shit about this stuff *aw*



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